What Kind of Role Model are You?

November 2019

Role models serve as examples.  Whenever you are observed by others, you serve as a role model of some kind. Are you the kind of role model you want to be?  

Some of us serve as role models intentionally. Some of us become role models by happenstance. But not everyone serves as a good role model, and even good role models aren’t necessarily good role models all the time. We’re all human.

Some of us aren’t really the kind of role models we think we are, or want to be. The kind of role model you are depends on how others perceive you, which may or may not be how you see yourself. The good news is, even you can be a great role model if you consciously set your mind to it and act with role model intention.  

Positive role models give us hope and inspiration. They provide “how to” direction to those who admire them and want to be like them. Negative role models give us direction, too, although usually more in terms of what not to do. As long as you are a discerning observer, you can learn something from just about everyone. Even extremely negative role models can help you become successful by making you aware of potential fallibilities and shortcomings which cause you to take overt actions of avoidance.

You can probably think of several people who have been either positive or negative role models in your life. One way or the other, they served to shape you into the person you are today.

Perhaps some people even served as both a positive and a negative role model for you. Again, we’re all human and no one is perfect.  But we can all be positive role models to others, even under the worst of circumstances, if we understand that every action we take can either be an inspiration or a demotivator to those around us.  Each of us can direct the moral compass of others, one way or another. 

As a leader, your primary role is to inspire and motivate others to reach their fullest potential, to be the best they can be. True leaders establish, and hold themselves accountable, to the highest moral and ethical standards. In the words of Dr. Michael Josephson, “Character Counts!”

One thing I learned in MBA school was the importance have having good role models and mentors. I remember when I was newly minted from MBA school, in my first job with AT&T. I immediately set about finding women in the organization who had managed to elevate their careers two or three levels above where I was. I figured I could introduce myself, get to know them, and therefore learn to be like them. The challenge was, I didn’t find many women at that level at the time, and those I did find were definitely not the kind of managers I wanted to emulate. The “b-” word comes to mind when I think about some of them, even now, decades later. 

But I learned one really important thing from each of these women. I observed how they behaved and dedicated my efforts to not be like them.  I actually grew into a better leader because of them. I learned I wanted to be a more positive role model to others than these women were to me.  Yes, you learn from the good and the bad.

Over the years, I found some of the managers I learned the most from were not necessarily well-liked by my colleagues. I was actually warned about one female VP, in particular, before I elected to join her team. Virtually everyone who reported to her told me “Best you stay away”.  Other than such warnings, I knew nothing about her, so I proactively asked to meet with her. I was delightfully surprised to find I actually liked and admired her. I found her to be a no-nonsense kind of gal who seemed to have the company’s best interest at heart. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I couldn’t find much about her that I didn’t respect. I was quite perplexed by the dichotomy. Ultimately, I elected to take the promotion to her team. Best thing I ever did.

During my tenure on her team, we became very good friends. She offered me extremely challenging opportunities which I knew would be career enhancing if I succeeded. She made sure the executive board knew all about me and she stood up for me in challenging situations. She made me stretch beyond my comfort zone, that’s for sure. But as long as I presented my plans and explained why I felt a certain course of action was, in my opinion, the best road to take, she gave me free rein, got internal road blocks out of my way, and made sure everyone on my team got the recognition they deserved. She always had me fill in her for her when she was away, which allowed me to have direct interaction with the senior executive team. This was great exposure. I learned a tremendous amount from her and because of her. Obviously, some role models can be better role models for some people than others.

I also learned something very important from the Founder, CEO and Chairman of that same company, back when I joined the firm. As most founders tend to be, this man was not only extremely passionate about his company, his baby. He was passionate about the people who worked there. He wanted every single manager in the company to serve as a positive role model to others, both inside and outside the firm. He required that each new management hire, and everyone newly promoted to management, to attend management orientation at corporate headquarters so he could meet and come to know everyone on his management team. Not easy to do in a global company. I was impressed by that.

The final day of this week-long orientation program is when each new manager met him. We all knew he would bring in lunch for all the attendees that day, which would be handmade by his wife. He wanted us to feel like members of his family. I was impressed by that, too.

Before lunch, he spent a couple of hours with us sharing his story of about founding the company, his vision, his leadership philosophies, and the values to which he held himself (and would hold each of us) accountable. He was truly a heartfelt leader. Even though we had only just met him that day, we knew he loved each of us. We were like his kids, and he would be like our dad. That included tough love and the option to “kick you out of the house” if necessary.

One key message from that day, one that has stayed with me ever since, was this. He told us:

“I want each one of you to think about every decision you ever make for this company as one that could end up on the front page of the New York Times. As you make each decision, I want you to ask yourself, ‘If this action I’m about to take ends up in the headlines for the entire world to see, would my mother be proud or ashamed to read it?’ If you make decisions accordingly, I have confidence you will make the best decisions possible.”

I have never forgotten that message. To this day, whether I am making a decision in business, in my community or civic affairs, or even in my personal life, I think about that.

What a role model he was, and what a blessing to me. Because of his example, I have become a better leader and role model to others. I hope by sharing his message with you, you will be inspired to be a better leader and role model, too. 

My heartfelt thanks and best wishes go out to my former CEO. Thank you, Steve.