How Seriously Do You Take Yourself?
September 2021
A few months back, I mentioned an interesting question that someone had recently asked me. It was, perhaps, one of the most thought-provoking questions I’d ever been challenged with:
If you had to sum up your personal leadership philosophy in just four words, what would those four words be?
Since then, I have presented three of the four words that I believe best explain how I deliberately live my life, both in public and in private: Learn, Love, and Brave.
Admittedly, there is no single most effective way to lead. Different situations call for different leadership styles. Thankfully, the world is full of magnificent alternatives, just as the world is full of amazing people with their own special gifts to offer the world.
With that being said, the four words that have served as my guiding stars throughout my career and beyond are foundational to any advice I give to my mentees. In fact, virtually all my blog posts, newsletters, and books are reflective of my four special words. Before I share my fourth and final word today, let’s review the first three.
Learn: Your entire life is a learning experience. Be a lifelong learner. Never stop being curious. Never hesitate to ask questions. The smartest, most knowledgeable, and perceptive leaders I know are incredibly inquisitive. Be open to new perspectives. Never take anything at face value. Strive to uncover the truth—there is always more to every story. Assess why things are the way they are. If needed information is not forthcoming, dig deeper. When you misfire, assess what the experience has taught you and grow from any newfound knowledge. When given an opportunity to try something new, take it and learn from it.
Love: Do what you love and love what you do—life is too short to do otherwise. Doing what you love will give you energy—your work will be a joy, and the hours will fly by. Encourage those around you to do what they love, so your team can achieve WOW factor results. Delegate those things you do not love to do to someone who does love to do such things—so they can leverage their strengths and grow their skills while doing so. Seek to love something about everyone, even if they do not seem loveable. You just might change their life as well as your own.
Brave: Fear is a natural reaction, but courage is a choice. True leaders choose to be brave even though they may be scared. When given the opportunity to take on a challenge beyond your comfort zone, do it—you just might impress the heck out of yourself, and you will serve as a role model to anyone who doubted you. Being brave allows you to live without regrets. Rather than looking back at the end of your life and wishing if only, be brave enough to learn, love, and laugh about having done them. Never be afraid to do what is right. Stand for the truth and grow your leadership skills. If you want to be in the C-suite, you must choose to be brave.
There you have it.
So, now, here is the fourth word that represents my personal leadership philosophy: Laugh. Yes, just laugh. Here is why.
Love and laughter are two of life’s greatest gifts. Be self-aware enough to laugh at yourself—never take yourself too seriously. If you make a mistake, laugh about it. Laughter dispels self-doubt and self-pity and allows you to move on to bigger and better things. It also dispels anxiety, resentment, and fear—it is a sign of mental toughness and resilience. Laughter is restorative—it can lighten the heaviness of the most difficult situations. It reinforces social bonds and improves both your mental and physical health. Attitude is everything, so pick a good one and let laughter set your spirit free.
The leaders I have most loved and respected throughout my life—the ones I would have done anything for—were smart, strategic, and visionary, yet humble, willing to listen, and they never took themselves too seriously. When they made a mistake—and heaven knows we ALL make mistakes from time to time—they owned up to it. The buck stopped with them. They stepped up to owning their less than perfect and sometimes catastrophic decisions. They laughed at themselves and learned from their experiences. As a result, I came to love these role models and I have strived to be that way, too, albeit in my own unique way.
Much of what I cover in my upcoming third book to be released in November, Women on Top: What’s Keeping You From Executive Leadership?—on pre-order now—is essentially about my four foundational words. Regardless of your gender, this book will help you learn to overcome your fears, take ownership of your success and failures, and close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Through the shared wisdom of seven amazing women on top, this book will help you get more comfortable with not taking yourself too seriously.
Consider the centuries old words of author and poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox (from The Man Worth While):
It is easy enough to be pleasant,
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is one who will smile,
When everything goes dead wrong.
My wish for you is that you will take these words to heart, especially in the challenging times now upon us. No matter what life has in store for you, never take yourself too seriously.
Laugh—and inspire the world to laugh with you.